…there’s no other way but up.

Or you can get stuck there.

Yesterday, the day started really, really early.  Around past 3am.  I was sleeping when my puppy suddenly made noises.  Usually, she’d sleep continuously, but yesterday, for some reason, she didn’t.  She made noises and tried climbing up my bed which woke me up.  So I picked her up and let her sleep on my tummy for a while.  But then she started acting weird again.  It’s as if something was bothering her.  So I put her down and went back to sleep cos I was really sleepy.  I just tried to ignore her.  Then I woke up because I felt the electricity go off.  And then I just heard sirens..fire truck sirens.  I wondered where the fire was.  Suddenly I heard explosions.  Then I knew the fire was just nearby.

So I got up to check and see.  I peeked out the rooftop door, and I saw the light that came from the fire.  The building in front of us was burning, and the fire was huge!  I went out, and the fire was just crazily huge.  I got so nervous cos I thought the wind could blow it to us and cause us to catch fire too.  So I went down to see my family.  We all woke up.  My dad and Almond tried to fix it..  I’m not sure what they did, but they went out.  It was so hard going around with the lights off.  Anyway.. after almost an hour, my sisters and I went downstairs to see what’s happning.  The fire seemed to die down a bit.  But not quite.  It just went into the building and was on its way to the other side.  It’s a good thing that it went away from us, but what about them?  So..there.  We stayed in the parking lot and watched the firemen try to put out the fire.  Around 6, the fire was gone.  But there was robbery.  Tsk tsk..

So we all went home and went back to sleep.  They turned the generator on so good, good.  Woke up at lunch time to eat lunch, and then, went to Go Hiap.  Then went home, rested.. Then..went to Ate Gina’s party.  Didn’t want to go but I had to.

By the way, the fire wasn’t totally out pa pala even though it was already night time.  Umm..  there was still a fire truck around.  Uzzi said it’s because the ground was still hot.  Ahh.. I see. Oh, and the incident was on the news daw.

Lab has grown so big already!  And he’s the sweetest thing!  He loves to kiss.  And he’s so playful and carefree.  And he has the softest and smoothest fur I’ve ever touched. 

Darla, the new dog, whose name keeps changing everyday, is the cutest.   She hops around, runs around, and loves to explore.  She loves to sleep..and she likes to sleep near anyone’s feet.  She chases after anyone and anything.    She also has a playful and carefree spirit.

My dogs..  I love my dogs.  I never thought I would have dogs.  Now that I do, I surprise myself.  I do things that used to gross me out, I do stuff that I never thought I would, I am now what I used to stay away from.  Wow.  Big changes because of my dogs.  But I love ‘em.  

True, you change for the one/s you love.

Francis M. died last Friday and was laid to rest yesterday.  I never was a fan, but I was just intrigued by his death.  It was a huge deal especially because of his talents, music, rapping skills, and most especially, his love for our country which he had shown through his art..music and photography.

I checked out his website on which his battle with leukemia was documented.  Saw his pictures and the details describing his treatments and condition.  There were pictures of him where it was obvious he was in pain.. and there were pictures with blood.  Of course.. leukemia is a blood disease, so there must be blood involved during those treatments.  Anywaaaaay..  What I’m saying is that he went through a lot.. and painful ones at that.  But he was still smiling and brave and faithful until the end.  So admirable.

And yeah, for him to go out there and do his thing..even during his sick times.. doing and living for what he loves..just amazing.  He didn’t care what people had to say or what would come his way.

I head the eulogy of one of his sons for him, and he said, "Yung kayabangan ni Papa, it used to irritate me.  And now I miss it. *cries* "

Just goes to show he couldn’t please everybody..not even his own child.  But he went on doing his craft for his country, even when he was already sick and going through so much pain, and there.  He was and still is so much loved.  So courageous.

And we, people in good condition..why do we complain more than he did?  Or..did he ever complain?  I don’t know.  But his optimism and faith just amuse me.  Why don’t we just..get our butts moving instead of complaining?  Di ba no, MM?

Anyway..I heard that they’re planning to make him a national artist, and that GMA’s giving him some kind of award.  Why..why is it that people realize one person’s value only after he has gone?  And then they give him awards, do stuff for him, name places and whatevers after him, but will he get to see these things?  I don’t know.  But wouldn’t it be nicer if these things were done when he was still alive?

But I’ve to talk about my mom.  I never heard her complain about her sickness considering she’s going through a tougher time than he did because. well.. they’re rich, and we’re not.  He had a wonderful and supportive family while we..umm.. don’t get me started.  All I can say is my father’s stupid, worthless, thoughtless, selfish, and inconsiderate.  And our relatives, they’re unfair.  And a whole lot more factors.  Yet my mom gets to live without complaining about her condition.  All she asks for is a  peaceful and quiet time away from stress.  She doesn’t want to bother anyone because of her sickness.  She doesn’t want to worry anyone as well.  Really, really brave.

But I know.. I know that she will get well soon.  She’s tough and faithful and strong willed..  She’ll recover.

About growth..

Uzzi and I are together, but not really, gets?  I mean.. we’re boyfriend girlfriend, but we’re not really a normal couple because we live far away from each other.  Gah.  If only…

Anyway. so… since this is our case, we do not get to spend most of our time together, especially now that he has work.  There are a lot of things we can’t do together.

Can  I fast forward and skip details?  

So.. what I’m saying here is that whatever it is that he has or wants to do, he must go and do it with or without me.   I want him to enjoy and live his life fully and all that.  The time will come, and we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.  But for now, with or without me, he must live on.

I realized how he used to have a lot of things going for him.  Day and night outs, gimmicks, friends, girls, trips, concerts, phone calls, parties, and a whole lot more.  But now.. now that he has me, he doesn’t usually go on anything like those anymore.  He gives up anything and everything for me eh, especially when it means he won’t get to spend time with me since he has to do something or be somewhere.

Let’s add a little bit of Philo here.  Before he became a guy/boyfriend, he was human.  He has human rights that not even the fact that he’s a guy, a boyfriend, plus the responsibilities that come with it, can overpower.

Anwyaaaaaaay..  all I’m saying is.. if he wants to do something, go somewhere, or be something I can’t, I want him to go for it.  I do not want him to hold back.. because he’s worried about me, he’s thinking of me, or he can’t get to do it with me..  I do not want to hinder him from living and getting his dreams.  I’m supporting him all the way.  I want him to have/get what he wants.  I love him even if that means letting him go. 

Yup.

But.. but..
I’m really, really thankful and grateful that even though Uzzi will definitely have a better life without me, he chooses to stick around.

Got my new puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, Uncle Zal!

Uzzi visited me last night.  Well, we were supposed to go to the Eraserheads reunion concert, but I couldn’t  make it.  And he just decided not to go as well.  He went to see me instead.

I was so touched, really, but I really wanted him to watch the concert even without me.  Personal growth.. Personal life.. Umm… I’ll talk about this in my next entry.

Anyway..

So he came to see me last night.  He took me and Yanah to dinner.  We ate at Jun-Jun’s.  But before that, he gave me giiiiiiiiifts!!!  An mp3 pen and a Casio watch!!!  Grabeeeeeeeeee!!!!  A 2.3k pen and a 4.3k watch! 

MM: Grabeeeee!! Anong meron??
Uzzi: Anong wala?  Watch.

Haay..  

She breathes, but she can’t have a life.

I move, but I can’t go places.

He can, but he just won’t.

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my problems are affecting my brain.  i’m starting to talk nonsense.

We now have new helpers.  Maryjoy and Ryan.  So far so good.  Their sales yesterday reached 1,400, and only three pieces of donuts were left.  But I still don’t know.  We’ll see we”ll see.

We’ve already started selling pens and donuts, by the way.